Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
