im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's always time for handjobs
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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