my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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