he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
