Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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