Christians are straight up FREAKS
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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