Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
