Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
