And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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