I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
