I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
