i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
