he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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