On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
