im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
