you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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