My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
