Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
