Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize