Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
