oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
