Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
