I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize