I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I touched a dick in church today
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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