Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
