I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
