I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
