So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
