Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
