Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
