I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NoShamevember. You game?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
