I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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