are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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