i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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