hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
