It's Friday. Sex?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
