Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
