i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
