I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize