Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
