Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
