Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize