just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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