Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
