singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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