i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
