You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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