How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
