i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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