I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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