I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
