i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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