Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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