i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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