Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
