We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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