I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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